I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
