There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
