Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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