But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
