I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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