HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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