**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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