used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
