Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
