I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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