there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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