on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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