Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
