he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
ttyl tear gas
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
