and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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