We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
