beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
