Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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