she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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