i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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