he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize