We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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