I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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