you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
