NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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