Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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