She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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