Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
