i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
