who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
