Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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