it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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