i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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