Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
