i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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