Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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