ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
third nipple confirmed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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