The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
