Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's always time for handjobs
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
