Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Jerry, you need to find god
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
