when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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