I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
