my room smells like sperm. sweet.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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