yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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