Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
