he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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