We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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