DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize