I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
