she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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