if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
