Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
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A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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