Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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