I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
