Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I understand Curling. That high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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