im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
