me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
