What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
