dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
