So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
