Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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