I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
